apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
