I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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