love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
