please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
How external is "for external use only"?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
