For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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