Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
