It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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