Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
