420 ftw
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
