You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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