Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
