I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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