Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
