We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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