So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
