i was rollin on her like bob the builder
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
