My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
