No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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