The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
