We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
