I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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