drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
