Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
