peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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