We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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