maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
