He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
