Jerry, you need to find god
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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