you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
