I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
she peed on how many people?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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