Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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