Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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