4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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