I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize