In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
we made out on top of his cat.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
