You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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