I never want to see another naked old woman again.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
