Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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