Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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