You can't special order awesome
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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