he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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