i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
