I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
