The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I got inside last night via doggy door
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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