How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
