what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
