my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
