So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
