Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
