i just wanna soil my oats bro
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
