Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
