So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize