so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize