I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
