Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
love makes seman taste better
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
