i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
