i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
