To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
