YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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