I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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