I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
