i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
