end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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