super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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