Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
My penis needs a shock collar
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize