i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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