You're so nebulous sometimes
I CAN MOONWALK!
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
